I fought with myself a little as I walked to my gate from security. We all want to look cool, I suppose, and I didn’t want to admit how scared I am–certainly not here on the blog where people might read it. You see, I’m not a traveler. Pretty much a hermit, actually. There were times while 夫 was on business trips when I literally did not set foot out my front door for days, and I was happy like that. So what, I ask myself, am I doing here–alone and inexperienced at flying and heading out of the country? That question gets answered later. For now, I decided to give my thoughts to the Internet because there may be other students out there, flying alone for the first time as they travel to study abroad. Knowing other people survived the experience helps, right? Heh.
Right now I’m sitting at Dulles waiting for boarding. I have another twenty minutes to go. Soon I’ll look up the layout of JFK, because I only have an hour to get from one plane to the next. When I’ve told people that, some have said it will be no problem. Others have responded with widened eyes and sympathetic concern. I have no idea whether to expect an issue or not. Best to be prepared.
夫, who has done a lot of flying, tells me that the hardest part is actually behind me, that fighting my way through the study abroad paperwork was the gauntlet and now it’s easy sailing (or flying, as it were). I don’t know if I believe that, but I’m trying to be zen about things.
A running subdued joke in my house for the past week or so is that he reminds me I’m going to Japan, as though to build my excitement, and I remind him that between me and excitement at being in Japan lies a mire of panic and worry, through which I cannot even hope to see anticipation. Still, I think there may be a glimmer there in the distance.